Why am I here? What is my purpose?
The Big Questions.
This is something I get asked a lot by people seeking answers to deeply spiritual questions. They often feel like they are somehow failing or ‘underachieving’ because they don’t know (or are not fulfilling) their ‘soul purpose’. Particularly now, when many people are in lockdown, unable to feel useful and purposeful, this question is being highlighted in people’s minds.
The idea of ‘achievement’ has spread from the business world and into the world of spiritual practice – possibly because much spiritual practice has become (by necessity) a way for teachers to make money in order to live – in different times (and in religious settings) spiritual teachers were given donations of food, clothing, and accommodation in return for their offerings so they could share their practice without any need to prove its immediate benefits and/or worth. The focus of a spiritual path, and the answer to the Big Questions has shifted.
In this mix-up, the offerings of spiritual teachers, life coaches, and business gurus have somehow become conflated. The message has changed. Now so many ‘gurus’ describe spiritual success as being about money, health, achievement, perfection, and purpose, and they offer quick-fix (and highly marketable) ‘solutions’ for people to achieve this ‘instant success’. It enables them to make loads of money. But unfortunately, their followers (customers) lose out because these solutions rarely hold up for the long term. Perhaps these ‘gurus’ have forgotten, or perhaps they never knew what really brings deep healing and growth.
The problem with goals, especially spiritual goals.
In my younger days, I used to believe I was here to fulfil some kind of unique role in this world, that I had a ‘soul purpose’ to achieve. I set my goals high.
However, being driven to fulfil this role meant that I was constantly frustrated because I hadn’t yet achieved it in the scale that I ‘should’ have, and I couldn’t see any way of doing so. It meant that people, friends, and family were experienced by me as distractions to this ‘purpose’. It meant that enjoying nature, play, and socialising felt like a sidestep. It felt that I didn’t have enough time to do it all.
The more we want something that we don’t have and the more we chase ideals and success the more pain we will be in while we don’t have it.
If we constantly pursue betterness we will be constantly dissatisfied.
Striving for difference brings pain.
The more we relax, accept, and be with whatever is here and now, the calmer and happier we will be.
We are here to live not work.
Thanks to my spiritual practice of magick and meditation, and a lot of common sense I realised just how much shit we humans are handed when it comes to life and work. My spiritual work is certainly something that calls me, and it’s something I continue to do with a passion. But these days, I do things only when I’m inspired – not because I feel I have to complete any kind of spiritual mission.
Obviously we still need money, and this often involves pushing ourselves to do things that we don’t want. But there’s no need to push ourselves in every other aspects of our lives. We don’t need to fulfil any deep and meaningful spiritual purpose, we don’t have to be the perfect parent or friend, there’s no necessity to demonstrate health, fitness, beauty, or wealth in order to be a valuable and worthwhile being on this planet.
There is no need to be someone special or do spectacular things.
We are ok just as we are.
Us humans are no more or less important than a tree, a worm, or a tiger. This should bring some relief because it means that we have every right to be just like anything else on this planet. By merely moving with the wind each day a blade of grass justifies its own existence.
We are no better or worse than grass; we have nothing to prove.
So why are we here?
I believe that we are here for no reason other than to BE here. Like the blade of grass, we can be on this planet, move with the wind, and see what happens. There are shit days and good days. The shit days are not ‘failures’ and the good days are not ‘successes’, they are simply part of the tapestry which weaves our unique, painful, wonderful, and boring life stories.
None of the details matter in regard to your worthiness. The only thing necessary is to take each day as it comes. You don’t need to achieve anything more than just being here and living each day.
Once I put my goals to rest, I realised that what’s really important to me is connection (both deep and frivolous) – with myself, with nature, and with beings of all kinds. I’m talking about tea and chats with friends and family, stroking my cat, dealing with illness, lying in the Sun, painting my toenails, walking amongst trees, relaxing, eating delicious food, doing meditation and journeying, lying in bed all day, dancing, singing, struggling with challenges, and watching good and crap telly.
We are here to be like grass.
If there was no need to achieve, prove, or do anything, what would become most important to you?
I’d love to hear your answers. Much love, Lilith xxx